thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
