Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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