I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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