I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
