If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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