Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
