I understand Curling. That high.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
