Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
