Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
