If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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