DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
