this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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