Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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