It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize