You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
