in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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