McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
