oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
