We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
