Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
