I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize