I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
