you win again, gameday.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize