I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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