It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Two words: nipple clamps
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