I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Randomize
