No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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