now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
either way he was missing a nipple.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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