Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
