i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
