In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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