How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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