Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
