oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
