So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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