Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
