There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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