obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
