I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
