she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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