In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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