I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
