im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
