Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
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