You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We need to get me chipped asap
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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