HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
