Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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