i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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