The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize