if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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