lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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