I think im going to throw up on grandma
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
