I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
