so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
