Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize