is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
