Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
