I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
