Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
