yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
