He is an equal opportunity slut.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I have fence marks all over my body
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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