Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
