he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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