Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
