We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
